Want to deepen a relationship? Want to express your love in more than roses, chocolates, and a Hallmark card? Take the 14 day Valentine Challenge!
The 6 steps of the Valentine Challenge:
- For 14 days, write a love letter to your lover. Be specific of how and why you love your partner. Think of attributes, both external and internal. Be grateful. Think of the little things he or she does for you. Think of why you were initially drawn to him or her. The first few days are easy. By the time you get to day 14, you will need to go deeper. That is the idea! Handwritten notes are great, but if your handwriting is like mine, you may want to use a digital alternative so your lover can actually read it! If your parter is like my wife, she anticipates the love note every day. You see, every time we are apart, we write love letters(emails) to each other daily. We talk to each other daily as well. We have been married for over 42 years. We communicate daily about money, kids, calendar, errands, etc. And once a week, we usually go deeper. We talk about goals for ourselves, our family, our businesses and life. We dream together. Constant and intimate communicate is the lifeblood of your relationship.
- Step two in the 14 day challenge. Do something for your lover every day. Simple stuff. Pick up after yourself. Do the dishes. Wash the car. Clean the house. Change the oil. Run an errand. Pick up groceries. Make dinner. You get the idea. Think of something your lover does every day, then, do it for him or her. Keep it simple, and daily.
- Step three. Buy gifts. Again, keep it simple unless you want to go big. No need for expensive jewelry or other gifts. Go out to your favorite restaurant, after the craziness of Valentine’s Day. You can go the Dollar store and buy something every day. Favorite candy bar. I hate shopping. So, when I go shopping with Sharlyne, it is my ultimate demonstration of love. If you want to hit one out of the park, choose a spending limit and go with your lover on an all day shopping spree. Guaranteed to make a memory. However, any budget can work on this step. Hand made gifts can be the best!
- Step four. Physical touch. Hold hands. Cuddle. Hug. Not everything needs to lead to sex, but that is certainly OK! When the shine has worn out on a relationship, often physical touch has started to wane. Act like you love each other. Touch each other, often. Sharlyne and I hug and kiss every morning, whenever one of us leaves the house, and before bed.
- Step five. Resolve conflict. Couples get into destructive cycles of unresolved conflict that continually escalate leaving the relationship raw and bleeding. Wounds never heal. You don’t know how to repair the damage. Own your own stuff. Apologize for it. Forgive your lover. Repair and make up. You don’t need to fight over the little stuff, and the longer I live, most everything is little stuff. If you need some help, give us a call. That is our specialty.
- Final step. Spend time together. Get away, especially if you have kids. You may not get away in the next 14 days, although there are some great deals and availability at the beach in the off season. However, you could make a reservation and let your lover know about a future getaway. You need to nurture and feed your relationship. Nothing says, “I love you”, like a weekend getaway at least two or three times a year. The next best thing? A day date. Yes, an entire day together. Sharlyne loves a day day. I work long and hard hours, yet always carve out time for her. She enjoys a whole day with me without distractions. Suggestion – leave the phone in airplane mode. You can take turns planning the day. So, in the next 14 days, if you cannot get away, at least do one day date and one regular date night. Sharlyne and I usually have a weekly date, even if we stay home and watch a movie together.
I hope you enjoy the 14 day Valentine Challenge and your relationship goes to a new level! You will not need to keep most of these things up daily, but if you do them consistently, your relationship will continue to flourish. Happy Valentine’s Day!